


all around him

by andromedagalaxy



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 06:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11374077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: The coma is like a watery grave.Lukas knows it’s a dream because of the way he’s moving, pushing through concrete. It’s a forest but it’s all black, covered in shadow. There’s gunshots. Reverberating through him and it hurts, it pulses in his chest and when he looks down there’s blood all over his shirt. A deep, sticky red, wet and dripping. He scrambles to push it up but when he catches sight of his bare chest there’s no wound there. Only a handprint, a hand smaller than his own. He presses his palm there and can feel panic, words said somewhere else.Lukas, Lukas, oh my God—Philip. He needs to find Philip.





	all around him

The coma is like a watery grave.

Lukas knows it’s a dream because of the way he’s moving, pushing through concrete. It’s a forest but it’s all black, covered in shadow. There’s gunshots. Reverberating through him and it hurts, it pulses in his chest and when he looks down there’s blood all over his shirt. A deep, sticky red, wet and dripping. He scrambles to push it up but when he catches sight of his bare chest there’s no wound there. Only a handprint, a hand smaller than his own. He presses his palm there and can feel panic, words said somewhere else.

_Lukas, Lukas, oh my God—_

Philip. He needs to find Philip.

The forest seems to stretch out in front of him and as fast as he runs he can’t find the end of it. He hears his own voice everywhere but it sounds different, softer, with more intention. He listens harder—they’re all things he whispered in the barn, breathed between kisses, when his mind was foggy and his heart was full. All things he said to Philip. 

The night falls darker but the stars are shining bright, beautiful, like silver beads in the sky. He stops running, his chest heaving, still pulsing and stinging with some kind of latent pain. He sighs, arching his neck back and closing his eyes. “Philip,” he breathes, lost and alone. 

He feels arms closing around him from behind and he only jumps slightly, because there are familiar lips pressing to the back of his neck. Lukas wilts a little bit against him, covering Philip’s hands with his own. He thinks he can vaguely hear the sound of his bike, but he doesn’t know where it’s coming from. He can only focus on Philip. All around him.

“You have to wake up,” Philip says, pressing another kiss to Lukas’s shoulder.

“I don’t know how,” Lukas says, his eyes burning from behind closed lids.

“I’m waiting for you,” Philip says. “And we’re not safe. I need to protect you, I can’t let you get hurt again.”

Lukas doesn’t know where Philip is, not really. He could have been shot too. He could be dead. And at that thought Lukas turns around and almost expects Philip to be gone, but he’s there—still the most goddamn gorgeous thing Lukas has ever seen, still wearing the same outfit from that afternoon. Lukas cups Philip’s face in his hands. 

“You’re out there, right?” Lukas asks, eyes tracing over his face. “You’re—I’m not gonna wake up to you—to you gone, right?”

Philip doesn’t say anything, he only smiles, but Lukas hears Philip’s voice. Wrapping around him like warm velvet.

_I love you, Lukas, please wake up._

“I’m here,” Philip says, reaching out and touching Lukas’s face, too. “I’m here and I need you. I need you back.”

It hurts Lukas’s heart to look at him. He wants so much for them, wants to find it in his heart to do the right thing. Because it scares him. It terrifies him to think of changing, to think of being out, to think of people knowing who he is. But when he looks in Philip’s eyes he wants to do everything for him. He wants to hold his hand in public. He wants to make him smile where people can see.

Lukas wants to find the strength. He has to.

He blinks and Philip is gone. “Philip?” Lukas says, sounding small and childlike. 

But he’s alone.

He races through the forest again, screaming Philip’s name, and it feels like years pass. The sky goes pale pink, purple, then the sun comes out again. He keeps running and it doesn’t hurt anymore, almost like something is carrying him through. 

The sky falls away, the ground next, everything around him until there’s nothing left. He’s floating and kicking at nothing, at a dark abyss, but he feels like he’s coming up and out. He can hear beeping.

But he can’t feel Philip.

-

Real life hurts more. It hurts a lot more. And he can barely breathe. It’s hard enough to move, a lot harder than it was in his head, but he lifts his hand and touches whoever the hell it is standing beside his bed.

It takes all the strength he has, but he needs to know. 

“Where’s Philip?”

-

Lukas can only stare at him. Philip’s deep brown eyes. His look of concentration. His skin and his hair and his lips and his chin and his cheeks and God, the world just melts around him. Lukas wants to kiss him. Wants to hold him. Wants all of this to end so they can just curl up together in the gentle darkness and sleep in each other’s arms.

“When it—when it happened—God, I was so afraid,” Philip says, caressing his arm. “And now he’s out there, he was right there—Lukas, I just—”

“It’s so good to see you,” Lukas says, and he can’t even smile because emotion is bubbling up in his chest. He’s terrified, he knows what’s happening and he’s goddamn terrified, but Philip is here. Philip is his. 

Philip shifts closer, never breaking eye contact. “It’s good to see you too.”

Lukas knows he heard something. Knows he heard _I love you._ And it felt so real. Made him feel needed. Important. Complete.

But it must have just been the dream.


End file.
